It's like looking in the mirror
No, this is not a 'Goonies' post. Everyone who reads this blog might remember a certain "I shaved my head shortly after chrismas" story. It is nowApril, 28 some 4 months since that particular incident and I have now, finally, cut my hair. I am reminded of many bad haircuts from my past including but not limited to: Fantastic Sams '99 and SuperCuts '03. But today's visit to Great Clips tops them all. It is amazing to me that a poorly trained and unqualified hairstylist can transform an otherwise normal and proportional looking skull into what now resembles an ostrich egg. I look like a condom with the top busted off. I look, like the lovely Sloth above.
Kelly Kapowski was a nuclear babe
So, I'm over this whole Urkel thing, let us never speak of him again. Jeff, I read your comment this morning and walked around all day quietly singing "Money don't make my world go round...". Anyway, in the spirit of "Family Matters' and classic 90's daytime television, I give you: "The Saved by the Bell Post" (one of many to come).
Here's a few questions.
1) Would a hot babe like Kelly Kapowski ever hangout with a dorky spaz named Screech?
2) Who would you rather bang? Kelly, Lisa, or Jesse?
3)Remeber that asshole Jeff that stole Kelly from Zack?
5)Have you ever had a Mr. Belding sex dream
For the love of Urkel
Two Urkel posts in a row, you ask? Yes, he deserves another post, in fact he deserves his own magnificant blog. Anyway, tommorow (Tuesday) Arsenal plays Villareal (the yellow submarine) in the second leg of the Champions League Semifinals. Watch it on ESPN2 @ 11:30 a.m. (pst). I really don't have anything else to say but I will leave you with a few memorable quoutes from you know who.
"Did I do that"
That's it, I found an entire page of 'Family Matters' quoutes and this is the only one worthy of posting.
P.S. Jeff, did you enjoy my psychoanalysis of your dream?
Remember Urkel?
For some strange reason I got to thinking today about that loveable african-american nerd known as Steve Urkel. To be honest I always hated 'Family Matters', but nonetheless, here is an Urkel post. What a stupid fucking character.
Questions for you:
1) What's your favorite Urkel memory?
2) Have you ever had an Urkel sex dream?
3)Who do you prefer? The original Steve Urkel or his alter-ego Stephan Urkell?
4) Am I spelling Urkel right?
I still can't think of anything
I still can't think of anything for this blog. But, I've included two pictures in today's post because I think they are both of equal beauty. I do have something that I wish to comment on though.
I was watching HistoryChannel International today (channel 276 here in Sacramento), and I came across a series called "Weather at War". I believe this particular series analyzes the various effects that inclement weather has upon the outcome of battles. The episode that was on today was titled (and I shit you not, look it up if you don't believe me), 'Mud: The great leveler'. So, if you get a chance, watch 'Mud' (that's what I'll call it for short).
Here's a quote: "Yeah, but I'd do you from behind because your breath smells of onions"
David Brent The Office
Apathy has cost you the trip of a lifetime
Nobody entered the contest, so I win by default. I am going to Dagobah and partying with Yoda. Fuck the lot of you.
Quotes
I forgot to leave a movie quote in the previous post, so here it is.
"People always ask me if I was the class clown," "Well no, I say, but I sat next to him and studied him." Waiting for Guffman
Ryan McClune's Intergalactic Travel Contest
Zach, why are you without a blog? Yodje Canyon (sp?) or whatever does not yet exist. Anyway, Arsenal 5-0 over Aston Villa, that's definitely a fucking dancer. People haven't been leaving enough comments to motivate me to keep up this charade. So, in hopes of motivating the proverbial "you" or "they" or even "them" to post more comments (the more ridiculous, the better), I will leave behind a picture of the true "world's best footballer".
p.s. its not Ronaldinho or Fat Frank Lampard or anyone who plays for Tottenham Hotsperm.
p.s.s. Today will be the first day of Ryan McClune's intergalactic travel contest. In order to win, submit one paragraph telling me which of the following three destinations you would prefer to visit and why.
1) The Dagobah System. Featuring the home of Yoda and many exotic swamps and creatures.
2) Kashyyyk. Planet of the Wookies. A place where one can admire the tremendous beauty of the Wroshyr Trees.
3) Tatooine. An Endless desert but an opportunity to hunt the elusive Krayt Dragon.
The winner will be announced in 5 days, based on the persuasive merit of the respective entry. The Grand Prize winner will recieve an all expenses paid intergalactic journey to the planet they have chosen aboard the Millennium Falcon. Void where prohibited.
