Two pictures and a terrible post
This picture was taken in Eréndira, Mexico about two years ago.
This was taken in front of a restaurant before my illustrious Naval career.
When I get bored I do all sorts of boring of stuff. When reading or writing or having a wank just isn’t enough, I indulge myself in the cyber space cesspool that is Craigslist. I realize that the website is awfully useful if you intend to sell a used mattress or your wedding ring but to be perfectly honest, I don’t trust Craigslist users.
As you may all know by now, I have theories. Lots and lots of theories. Some of these explain the nature of the universe or the behavior of monkeys, and others enlighten one to as why Chinese restaurant menus always contain grammatical and/or spelling errors.
So, I’m going to try and explain to you, my dear readers, why I find Craigslist so disgusting yet fascinating and a theory I have about the personal ads.
I could care less about jewelry, jobs, or “missed connections”. When I craigslist (that’s a verb I invented), I go straight to “women seeking men” or perhaps “women seeking women” if I’m in the right sort of mood. But before I go on, I know some of you are jumping to the conclusion that because I do this, I’m some sort of lonely and undersexed creep. That really couldn’t be further from the truth (except the sex part). In all honesty, I am far too shy as to arrange a lovers tryst with some floozy off of Craigslist. I do this simply for my own amusement.
You know your walking the line between good taste and porno when Craigslist prompts you with a warning and disclaimer webpage about the nature of its personal ads. Furthermore, they offer this bit of advice just below the “women seeking men” link:
“Choosing safer sex for you and your partner greatly reduces the risk of contracting STDs including HIV -- you can get answers to your safer sex questions, courtesy of staff members at the SF city clinic”
So, I can only assume that casual sex with craigslist users will inevitably result in STD’s or an unwanted pregnancy.
Great. Where can I sign up?
But putting all that aside, the true beauty of Craigslist lies in the personal ads themselves. I don’t really want to post a particular ad from the Sacramento area because that’s irresponsible and mean but rest assured, they are very, very crude. Here are a few tasty titles to whet you curious whistle:
What's up? ... Or what should be? - 21 (I think this particular firecracker is referring to an erection)
I'm a bigger girl looking for a workout partner. - 21 (I don’t think a comment is necessary)
I’m fun loving and will try anything once - 22 – (Anything? I’m certainly interested)
Looking for Long Term Relationship/Marriage - 40 – (Really, on Craigslist?)
Sweet bbw stuck in brokenheartsville (Brokenheartsville, I spent a month there one night)
I planned on elaborating on a theory I have about hookers on Craigslist and how they come to your home and unlock the back door so their pimp can stroll on in and beat you and rob you blind. But I’m sick of writing.
P.S. I was planning on doing an Oscars post this week but for some reason it was last night and not some other day that would be more convenient for me.
P.S.S. Congratulations to T.M on his engagement if the rumors are in fact true. Coughs…don’t do it…cough. Sorry, I’m a smoker.
posted by Ryan McClune @ 7:20 PM
13 Comments:
I had problems formatting this post and removing the hyperlinks. Apologies.
That is okay Ryan, I actually had fun reading the links. Two more things, what is your email and what was the name of the monkey on the wall. I have a link to send you.
Nice post by the way.
Ryan, was that first picture from your nightmarish trip you and your buddy took to Mexico that you told me about?
You were really at the fore front of collar popping. I think you may have been the first person I saw do it. I think sometimes it was because you were just drunk and disheveled and unaware of it but nevertheless, that's some sort of cred...
Hey, if you get bored on Craigslist, help us find a couple "entertainers" in our area for TM's bachelor party.
Hello dear readers.
Vince, if your referring to the black and white baby chimp poster I used for inspiration my sophmore year in college, I can't for the life of me remember what i called him. Also, my email is ryanmick05@yahoo.com
Yes, the picture was taken from my nightmarish trip to Baja, Mexico. Don't ever bother going there if you get the chance. It's also a bad idea to drive from Sacramento to Tijuana on a whim with no plan at all.
Summertimes, yes, I was one the first. The reason behind this is becuase I wanted to look and feel as if I was living in the 1980's, my most favorite decade. This is obvious by the fact I stayed up till 3 a.m. last night watching "Say Anything" starring John Cuszack (sp?).
McClune, are you wearing jean shorts (jorts) in that first picture?
If I remember correctly, you were supposed to cruise through Burbank on your way down to Mexico. Trust me, you didn't miss a thing. Burbank is just as bad/worse than Baja.
Also, you should watch "Better Off Dead." Best John Cusack movie ever.
I just stumbled upon this juicy nugget on craigslist...the title is "2 for 1 special":
2 real guys here who just happen to be Dad and step son Looking for a lady to spoil. Divorced dad here,One big beefy hairy guy / Other total opposite step son skinny smooth. Looking to have some fun together. We have actually done this in the past with great success. both hung very nice. would also play with a couple and let the husband watch.Looking to play with a lady on the side. Have pictures to share here. Into it all from mild to wild.
"illustrious Naval career".. I've eaten oranges with more lustrous navel careers.
Was the name of the monkey Mr. Giggles?
And then????
McClune, Idol thoughts?
I seemed to come across this post too late because my attempt to craigslist through those links was cockblocked due to their removal. Jeff, how was your experience with the tandem interested in mild to wild? That is a strikingly perfect line and I intend to use it with ferocity at many later dates. Speaking of Tboz's engagement, I propose that in the event that we all attend his wedding we do so with collars-popped and this maybe a stretch but I think we could pull off the matching Flock of Seagulls haircuts.
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