9.27.2007

I've blogged monkeys, dead lizards, and gungans (sp?), why not a bit of chinchilla?


Its been far too long since my last blog entry, apologies. I have an exciting job interview tomorrow though, and in celebration, I’ve decided to get drunk. But I usually blog a bit tipsy or half drunk, so expect the same style, eloquence, misspellings, and bad grammar of most previous posts. Drinking and editing don’t mix.

So I’m sure my loyal readers are curious as to how the most unmotivated and apparently unemployable individual (yours truly), has managed to get himself an interview at a Fortune 500 company (I think). Well, the short answer is this: creativity. Also known as white lies or just plain bald faced lies. By the way, the company is a pet store which shall remain nameless.
Here are my qualifications:

1) I have a pulse (true).
2) I am an American citizen (true).
3) I do not have a criminal record (sort of true).
4) I have owned and cared for various creatures including but not limited to: rodents, lizards, fish, amphibians, dogs, cats, birds, and arachnids (not really true).
5) I have no problem handling the various animals that require feeding, cleaning, etc. (not true, I’m terribly afraid of tarantulas and chinchillas).

Addendum: The position I’m applying for is ‘Pet Specialist’. So, if I get the job (and I’m quietly confident), I can tell people that my specialty is pets.

That’s it. Wish me luck. By the way, the football (soccer) team I support is fuckin aces so far and that’s a fuckin dancer (my attempt at cockney).

P.S. Jeff, although this might be a bit presumptuous, I’ve noticed you and yours have read a few of my recommendations, so, I though I might offer another: “The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime” by Mark Haddon. I first read this back in Lawrence but just recently finished it for the second time, its worth a look. Its humorous and insightful but more in the mold of Nick Hornby rather than Kurt Vonnegut (RIP).

P.S.S. I actually think chinchillas are cute, but I was bit by one once.

3 Comments:

At 8:06 AM, Blogger Jayhawkaholic said...

If you make pet specialist see if we can get a "rat king" on the black market. I've heard there is a chance they grant their keepers magical ability.

 
At 12:16 PM, Blogger J-Man said...

I request a new post.

 
At 8:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

McClune...you are a savant, and I applaud you

 

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