an interstellar burst

I figure since it’s been a few years since I’ve seen anyone from Kansas I should update everyone’s fading memory of myself. Please to enjoy…

Full Name: David Ryan McClune (hasn’t changed since May 3, 1983).

Height: 5’10” (hasn’t actually changed since high school).

Weight: 174 lbs. (about 10-15 lbs. less than the last time any Kansan has laid eyes on me).

Eyes: Blue (still).

Hair: Brownish Blondish (although thinning, and quite worryingly).

Awesomeness Level: 100 out of 100 (still).

Penis Length: ??? (haven’t measured it since high school. Do you use a ruler or measuring tape?).

Conclusion: I haven’t actually changed much these last few years. I’m a bit thinner (in both the weight and hair department), I’m still terrifically awesome, and lastly, I still maintain a mysterious penis length.

-By the way, the picture above was taken of me just a few days ago. I’ve grown a beard.

Inspiration is an odd thing, especially when if comes in the form of Chinese food. Perhaps it has something to do with Confucius (sp?) or Lao Tzu or maybe the inherent wisom of the fortune cookie. Nontheless, last night while dining at a local asian eatery a long held opinion of mine was once again confirmed. More on that to come.

It was once said that Zeus had several daughters known as the 'Muses' who had the ability to inspire mankind to create wonderful works of art and music. Maybe he adopted a chinese baby too.

Some men have spent their entire lives in search of 'universal' or 'scientific' laws of nature. Newton, Einstien, Boyle, and Copernicus just to name a few. And hey, scientific community, get ready to add McClune to that list.

I give you (drum roll)........"McClune's universal law of grammatical and/or spelling errors on Chinese restaurant take-out menus" (working title).

Try to disprove it, go ahead, you can't-Its universal. Every Chinese restaurant will have at least one spelling or grammatical error on its take-out menu.

P.S. I should have worked on this post a bit more, I hurried it. Please excuse the ironic spelling errors as well.