This is the worst fucking country in the world
A lot of really brave men have died defending this great country of ours. Those who stormed the beaches of Normandy, Iwo Jima, San Juan Hill, etc. etc. But I got to thinking that we only celebrate the soldiers of the more memorable (and successful) military campaigns. So I will be the first to remember, congratulate, mourn, and bereave the brave men we have all lost in the following conflicts.
1)Dominican Republic (1965)
2)Lebanon (1982–1984)
3)Grenada (1983)
4)Panama (1989)
We have a lot to be thankful for, us americans.
Bill O'Reilly, Kobe Bryant, George W. Bush, 50 cent; at least our children have good role models.
Okay that's enough.
Here's a quote: "If I had a son, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer."
-Seinfeld
P.S. Is the title for this post too offensive?
-It's from Reno 911
P.S.S. I couldn't find a decent picture that would be appropriate for this post. So enjoy this beautiful Arab woman.
It's Saturday night and I'm writing on my stupid crummy blog
Lately I've been ignoring my blog responsibilities. I have no excuse. But I will say this: Why don't you try coming up with solid gold every night of the week? Anyway, right now I'm drinking Pernod, very strong Pernod. Also, before I forget, If you watched the finale of American Idol you might have seen both Live and Meatloaf perform.
"Live......Meatloaf, those band suck?" you ask.
"Yes, they suck indeed" I answer. "But, both Live's lead singer and Meatloaf featured in a little movie called
Fight Club."
I've gotta put 'The Teen Wolf Blitzer' post on the back burner for now, I know your all dissapointed, all two of you. Wait....all one of you.
I might be getting a job cleaning pools. It sounds like a shitty job and it probably is. But, it pays well and I get to snoop around people's back yards.
P.S. Jeff, good Seinfeld reference on the last post. Also, give me call. T.M. mentioned that he'd be in Vegas at the end of July. Perhaps we could arrange some sort of roadtrip rendevous(sp?).
P.S.S. Vince, I'm dissapointed in your lack of interest in this blog. Have you graduated yet? If so, I never sent you a letter. Sorry, don't take it personally.
"Seinfeld's van?"
"I think he said Son of Sam..........................I knew it wasn't Berkowitz"
Damned Dirty Apes
I stumbled across an article on Yahoo.com today that I feel I should share with all the people that read this blog, all two of them.
Your probably thinking, "Wow, what's this article about, Iraq, immigration, maybe oil prices?"
No, it's much more important than that. I've gone ahead and bold-faced what I feel to be the most important points of this article, points that I will comment on after you have read it.
Bears Eat Monkey in Front of Zoo VisitorsAMSTERDAM, Netherlands - Bears killed and ate a monkey in a Dutch zoo in front of horrified visitors, witnesses and the zoo said Monday.
In the incident Sunday at the Beekse Bergen Safari Park, several Sloth bears chased the Barbary macaque into an electric fence, where it was stunned. It recovered and fled onto a wooden structure, where one bear pursued and mauled it to death.
The park confirmed the killing in a statement, saying: "
In an area where Sloth bears, great apes and Barbary macaques have coexisted peacefully for a long time, the harmony was temporarily disturbed during opening hours on Sunday."
"Of course the habitats here in the safari park are arranged in such a way that one animal almost never kills another, but they are and remain wild animals," it said.
Witness Marco Berelds posted a detailed report on the incident, including photos, on a Dutch Web site. He said one Sloth bear tried unsuccessfully to shake the monkey loose after it took refuge on the structure, built of crossing horizontal and vertical poles.
Ignoring attempts by keepers to distract it, the bear climbed onto a horizontal pole, and, standing stretched on two legs, "used its sharp canines to pull the macaque, which was shrieking and resisting, from its perch."
The bear then brought the animal to a concrete den, where three bears ate it.
The zoo said it "usually wasn't possible" for keepers to intervene when an animal killed another.
The park plans now to move the Barbary macaques — which are large monkeys but often inaccurately called "Barbary Apes" — to another part of the park, it said.
1) By chasing the monkey into an electric fence, do you think the bears were trying to cook it?
2) I wonder what caused the bears to break this fragile peace? I think it was some sort of complicated political disagreement between sloth bears and their natural enemy, the barbary macaque.
3) This was absolutely beautiful. Instead of keeping the spoils of war, this particular bear brought the monkey back home to be savored by all. Could a bear willing to share his kill really be capable of murder? I think it's a stitch up. And we all know who's behind it, the liberal (pro-macaque) media. What are your thougts?
P.S. Did you like the Polish Wookies from the previous post?
I found these Wookies on a Polish website
It's been quite a while since my shameless birthday post. And, of course, I have yet to do the much anticipated 'Teen Wolf Blitzer' post. But, as they say: absence makes the heart grow fonder. So, when the 'Teen Wolf Blitzer' does in fact arrive, it will seem all the more beautiful.
Recently, I've been watching a lot of BBC America, old re-runs of The Office, Ed v.s. Spencer, etc. Yesterday, I came across an interesting english insult in a particularly entertaining episode of Ed v.s. Spencer. It was "Beef Curtains". That's it, just "Beef Curtains". As you can already tell, I found this to be quite intriguing. And, after a little research, I discovered it's sordid origins and definition.
Beef Curtains:
1) "Big saggy pussy lips that can be brown or pink, and serves as a nice blanket for a cock on a cold wintry day"
2) "Yet another synonym for the female genetalia, specifically the inner labia. Sometimes used in conjuction with "rainbow tint"--referring to the color gradation at the ends of sliced roast beef.(Abbreviation: curtain)(See baloney flap).
By the way, feel free to do your own research into the origins of 'Baloney Flap'.
P.S. I'm about to hit the publish button and I'm having second thoughts. I think a post with information regarding pussy lips is wrong. If I cross that line, there is no turning back. What are your thoughts?
Happy Birthday To Me
It is birthday time and it seems only appropriate to mark the occasion with a rather large picture of a birthday clown. Is it just me or is this clown and his hippie monkey absolutely terrifying? I have been drinking Michelob Ultra (why?) for the last couple of hours in celebration of myself. I have one question and a fact about the 3rd of May.
Q: Is this blog hot stuff?
Fact #1: May 3, 1992 Beverly Hills 90210's Gabrielle Carteris marries Charles Isaacs
-I think that's probably the most important event in the history of mankind to occur on my birthday. To think, I was celebrating my meaningless 9th birthday when Andrea Zuckerman was getting hitched.
P.S. The 'Teen Wolf Blitzer' post has been postponed due to my glorious birthday.
I bet Taco Bell was understaffed today
So, today is immigration protest day or whatever, Wolf Blitzer told me all about it. I was going to write this post about how our gardeners, who happen to be hispanic, didn't show up today. But, I got to thinking about Mr. Blitzer instead. I don't really have anything to say about him but I can't get him out of my head. He looks so ridiculous, and that can't possibly be his real name. I think he looks like Michael J. Fox when he transformed into the 'Teen Wolf'. The 'Teen Wolf Blitzer'.
1) Do you like the picture of the Mexican man?
2) Have you ever had a Wolf Blitzer sex dream?
3) Should I do a Wolf Blitzer/Teen Wolf post?
Quote: "Shoot it fattie!" from 'Teen Wolf'.
P.S. Wolf Blitzer is now out of my head, he has been replaced by the teen wolf.
